


Just like a crow chasing the butterfly, Dandelions lost in the summer sky (When you and I were getting high as outer space)

by wearetheluckyones



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (ish?), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Bottom Louis, Bottom Zayn, Louis has a bit of a meltdown, M/M, Mentions of miscarriage (Babygate), Top Louis, Top Zayn, as you would in that situation, high!sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 16:27:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5504696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearetheluckyones/pseuds/wearetheluckyones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He really does like Zayn's place. It's very him. There's posters in frames, like The Avengers and Pulp Fiction, figures in shelves, modern art on the walls and enough books to start a library. The design is all dark and light, shades of brown and beige and white, and that's very Zayn, too. Zayn was right, he does love it. He loves it because everything he looks at reminds him of Zayn, of week long Superhero movie marathons and late night talks and cups of tea in hotel rooms that never felt like home, of getting high on hotel rooftops in the middle of the night. It reminds Louis of <em>them</em>. Of <em>Louis&Zayn</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just like a crow chasing the butterfly, Dandelions lost in the summer sky (When you and I were getting high as outer space)

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a high!Zouis oneshot, but it... _evolved_ , or something... Title from The Crow and the Butterfly by Shinedown which is literally the shit.

Stepping off the plane at LAX, Louis shouldn't be shocked by the weather change, at least not anymore, but he is. It's the middle of winter in London, and below zero, but the sun is out and shining, and it feels something close to twenty degrees. He curses his clothing choice, but soliders on, finding a taxi and narrowly avoiding paparazzi. He gets in to the back of a cab and pulls his single suitcase in after him, handing the piece of paper with the address over to the driver, buckling himself in.

He takes a few minutes to school himself as the taxi pulls out onto the streets before he finds his phone and turns it on. He's got a few messages from his mum and sisters, a few from the other boys, one from Ed, and one from Alberto, but he ignores them all in favour of checking his Whatsapp conversation with Zayn, to make sure he hasn't changed his mind.

There's no new messages from him, just the last _call me when you land, babe x_ and Louis lets out the breath he didn't know he was holding. He messages a quick _I'm on my way xx_ and puts his phone away again, settling back into his seat and shutting his eyes.

He naps until they reach Zayn's house, a place just on the Santa Monica esplanade. It's single story and old fashioned, but aesthetically pleasing, just like Zayn likes, with something close to a jungle out the front. There's a car out front a pale blue classic cadilac, and Louis almost wants to turn back. He wants to see Zayn, just Zayn, not meet all of his new friends.

He pays the cab driver anyway and gets out, tugging his bag along behind him.

Zayn's at the front door before Louis even knocks, grining wide and bright like the sun, pulling Louis into a tight hug.

"Hi, boo."

Louis sinks into the touch, curling his arms around Zayn's waist and breating him in.

God, he's missed Zayn.

The hug for a long time, Louis's not even sure how long, but when they pull apart, it's reluctantly, and they stare at each other for a few moments before Zayn speaks.

"C'mon in, babe, you'll love it, s'wicked."

So Louis follows Zayn into the house, bag in his hand, his other hand in Zayn's.

He really does like Zayn's place. It's very him. There's posters in frames, like The Avengers and Pulp Fiction, figures in shelves, modern art on the walls and enough books to start a library. The design is all dark and light, shades of brown and beige and white, and that's very Zayn, too. Zayn was right, he does love it. He loves it because everything he looks at reminds him of Zayn, of week long Superhero movie marathons and late night talks and cups of tea in hotel rooms that never felt like home, of getting high on hotel rooftops in the middle of the night. It reminds Louis of _them_. Of _Louis &Zayn_.

"I love it."

Zayn smiles softly and presses a kiss to the back of Louis's hand before leading him through the hallways to the door at the end. "This is my room, I thought you might..." He doesn't finish, but Louis gets it.

"Yeah."

Zayn smiles again and reaches forward to pull the door open.

It's bright inside, open, windows and a glass door that cover the wall opposite the door, facing the small stretch of private beach into the ocean. The walls are golden, and the shine with the sun, but it's scarcely furnished, just a bed on the left wall, a lone table beside it and a tallboy on the right wall facing it, a DVD player sitting on top and a TV on the wall above it, and two doors next to the one from the hallway that Louis guesses lead to an ensuite and a walk-in wardrobe, but it's nice.

Zayn looks over at Louis, like he's worried Louis won't like it, and Louis gives him a warm smile to calm his nerves. "I love it. It's gorgeous with the sun and the wall colour."

"It was actually already here when I came, so, like, I liked it too much to change it." Zayn takes Louis's bag and places it on the floor by the tallboy, unzipping it and pulling the lid open. Louis sits on the bed and watches Zayn meticulously put Louis's things away, clothes in the dresser, shoes by the window, iPad, laptop and chargers on the bedside table, his toiletries in the bathroom.

Once he's done, he turns to smile at Louis. "Nap time, babe?"

Louis nods slowly and lets out a yawn he didn't know he was holding, standing up and shucking his clothes until he's only in his briefs, watching Zayn do the same before pulling the heavy white drapes over the windows.

They curl under a thin sheet together, the quilt on the floor, Louis in Zayn's arms, when Louis remembers about the car in the driveway. "Who's Cadilac?"

Zayn doesn't speak for a while, just breathes slowly, before humming. "Mine. Sorta. I bought it when you told me you were coming."

"Oh..." Louis says slowly. "Oh. Thank you."

Zayn presses a kiss to Louis forehead, smiling against his skin. "You're welcome, babe. Get some rest, I'll be here when you wake up."

-*-*-

And he is. Zayn's still holding him when Louis wakes again, hours later. It's not as bright anymore in the room, and through the sliver between the curtains, Louis can see the sky begining to pink. Zayn's asleep still, snoring softly, and Louis carefully extracts himself to use the loo, careful not to wake him.

Once he's done, he tours the house, peaking in doors and cupboards before finding himself in the kitchen, searching the fridge for food. There's leftover chow mein and he pulls it out, finds a fork and starts eating, not even bothering to heat it up, before turning on the kettle.

He's watching it boil, eating, when arms wrap around his waist and lips press to his neck.

"Hey, babe." Zayn greets warmly, voice soft. Louis leans into the touch, putting the chow mein down, wrapping his hands around Zayn's on his belly and closing his eyes. "Good sleep? Feel any better?"

"Yeah, little. Best sleep since I..." Louis stops short, and Zayn nods, kissing his shoulder again. "Since I found out."

"That's good, baby."

Louis drops his head and sighs. "I'm okay, I promise."

"I didn't say anything, babe."

"Everyone always does."

Zayn nods and Louis turns in his arms, curling his own around Zayn's neck and pressing his face into Zayn's bare shoulder. He wont cry. He refuses to cry.

"I love you, little."

Louis swallows and nods. "I love you, too, Zee."

-*-*-

Louis sleeps for most of the first week of his stay, and Zayn stays with him in bed every time, even if he doesn't sleep, just stays with him.

After the seventh day, Louis gets up though, finally, and decides on a walk along the beach. It's early, the sun just rising, and he doesn't wake Zayn up, just pulls on a pair of Zayn's trackies, a pair of his sneakers, and his own singlet, finding a bottle of water, his phone and a pair of Zayn's earphones before leaving.

He runs for a couple hours, up the beach then back down again, enjoying the sun and the salty air, before finding his way back to Zayn's place, only to find Zayn on the beach, waiting.

He's shirtless, only in a pair of trackies, and he's got RayBan's over his eyes, staring out into the ocean until Louis gets closer, and he turns to look at him.

Louis pushes the earphones onto his shoulders and falls into the sand next to Zayn, panting and taking big gulps of water until it's all gone.

"Sorry."

Zayn frowns, eyebrows knitting together just above his sunglasses. "Why are you sorry?"

Louis frowns himself, and thinks, looking down at the sand, running his fingers through it. "I dunno. For coming here? For being such a downer? For leaving this morning without telling you where I was going? God, I dunno."

"God, Lou," Zayn drops his forehead onto Louis's shoulder and sighs. "Don't be sorry for any of those things, you silly boy. You came here because you needed time away, you've been upset, you can go where you want, you don't have to tell me anytime you leave." He shakes his head and sighs again. "Baby, I'm here for you right now. I'm not here to judge you or anything. I'm here to be there for you."

Louis stays silent for a long time, staring down at the sand, fighting the tears that threaten to spill.

Zayn presses a kiss to Louis shoulder. "I love you, Lou."

"I love you, too."

-*-*-

"D'you have any weed?" Louis asks, turning his head to look at Zayn, running his fingers through his loose fringe.

"D'you think that's a good idea, baby?" Zayn asks, pausing the movie.

Louis shrugs, running his tongue over his bottom teeth. "I wanna get high. And I want you to fuck me."

Zayn scratches the back of his neck, thinking. He sighs and nods his head, standing up off the couch and walking towards the entertainment unit, pulling out a small box the size of his hand with intricate carvings that remind Louis of one of Harry's old journals, and lifts the lid. He pulls out a full baggie of weed, a muddler and papers before putting the box back.

"Joint or bong?"

Louis's mouth twitches. "Joints fine, babe."

Zayn nods and falls back onto the couch next to Louis and puts the things in his hands on the table.

He gets the joint ready and Louis watches him closely, the way his fingers work, the peak of his tongue when he licks the paper closed.

"Lighter?" Louis asks, once Zayn's done two.

Zayn puts one joint in his mouth and the other on the table, digging a lighter out of his pocket and lighting the tip, taking a deep drag, passing it to Louis before breathing the smoke out from his nose and mouth.

Louis takes his own drag and leans back into the couch as he lets the drug flood his system.

They pass it back and forth until its gone, then does the same with the second until thats gone, too, and Louis's riding a good buzz, body lax and brain fuzzy.

"Good, yeah?" Zayn asks softly, putting the joint out in the ashtray on the coffee table. The room's filled with smoke, and Louis loves it. Loves this.

"Yeah." Louis replies slowly, head lolling onto Zayn's shoulder languidly. He looks up at Zayn. "Yeah, better."

"Good." Zayn brings his hand up to Louis's cheek and leans down to press a soft kiss to his lips, licking into Louis's mouth.

The shift until they're lying on the couch, Louis underneath Zayn, and the snog slowly for a long time, maybe an hour, maybe more, until they're both hard and aching, grinding softly against each other.

Louis's not quite sure how their clothes go, but they do, and suddenly they're naked and grinding, moaning into each others mouth's.

Zayn finds lube somewhere under the couch and fingers Louis slowly, but surely, until he's stretched and whining, back arched and mouth open wide in a gasp.

Zayn doesn't use a condom, but they never really did, just slathers his cock in more lube and pushes inside Louis slowly.

"Zayn, fuck." Louis whimpers, wrapping his legs around Zayn's hips and his arms around Zayn's waist, pressing his face into Zayn's neck, sucking bruises into the skin there.

It feels like it goes on forever, Zayn fucking in slowly and deeply, circling his hips, but it probably goes on for no more than twenty minutes. Louis comes with a whine high in his throat, hole clenching around Zayn's cock until the younger man follows him.

-*-*-

"Want to go for a drive?" Louis asks, leaning over the breakfast bench to smile at Zayn. "Just for a bit?"

Zayn nods. "Yeah, why not." He finishes his tea with a last gulp and stands up to take the empty mug to the sink. "Let me get my keys and shit."

Louis nods and finishes his own tea, watching Zayn walk out the room before getting his own arse into gear. He pulls on TOMS and nicks a pair of Zayn's sunglasses, finding his cigarettes and his phone, and pushing them into the pockets of his trackpants. He meets Zayn back in the enterance hall and together they step outside.

 

They drive for a few hours around the Hollywood Hills, down the highways, through the city and along the beach, talking and smoking, listening to the radio and stopping at a Buger King for cheeseburgers. By the time they pull back into Zayn's driveway, it's starting to darken.

"What'd you like for dinner?" Zayn asks when they get into the kitchen, peaking into the fridge and the freezer and the cupboards until he sighs. "I need to go grocery shopping."

"We can just order in?" Louis offers, shrugging his shoulders.

Zayn agrees, and they choose a Indian place a few streets away, calling and ordering enough to feed an army.

They eat until they're full, drinking beer until they're tipsy, before they clean up, put everything away, and fall onto the couch in front of The Amazing Spiderman.

"You know, I've heard about it before, I mean, of course I have," Louis says in the middle of the movie. "But I'd never thought it'd happen to me. To..."

He cries, then, lets the tears fall, swallowing the lump in his throat that threatens to choke him. Zayn holds him tight, and Louis thanks god he has him.

"To my baby." He sobs, wiping his eyes visciously. "He's _gone_."

Louis falls into Zayn and just cries. He cries and cries and cries until he can't anymore, until his face is red and wet and his eyes are stinging. He cries until his body shakes. He cries until he can't take it anymore and he screams, and bangs his hands into Zayn's and screams some more.

Zayn holds him through it, and Louis has no fucking clue how he got so lucky, how he got Zayn.

-*-*-

Louis wakes with a sore throat and a puffy face, pressed into Zayn's chest with Zayn's arms tight around him. He pulls himself out of the bed, out of Zayn's warm embrace, and into the bathroom for a quick piss before a shower.

Louis's in there for a while, just standing under the warm spray, when Zayn climbs in with him and curls his arms around his waist, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth.

"How're you feeling?"

Louis takes a deep breath and lets it out in a loud exhale of air. "All cried out, hopefully."

Zayn smiles softly, water dripping down his face. Louis runs his fingers through Zayn's wet, dyed hair and smiles back. "It's good to have a bit of a cry."

Louis nods his agreement. "Sometimes."

Zayn kisses Louis again, and Louis sinks into his arms, enjoying it.

They get clean in silence before getting out and drying themselves, pulling on clothes and heading to the kitchen for breakfast. Zayn makes them pancakes and they sit in front of a tellanovella to eat it, not speaking, just enjoying each others company.

They sit in front of the telly for most of the day in silence until the sun starts to set and Zayn heads out to do some grocery shopping, leaving Louis by himself.

He doesn't do much for the hour or so Zayn's gone, just sits on the couch and replies to everyone's texts, lets them know he's alright and where he is, tells them not to worry. Everyone replies almost straight away, asking questions, and it gets to a be a bit much, so he gives up, turning his phone off and lying down on the couch to pretend to watch TV.

When Zayn gets back, he cooks rice and chicken, and once they've finished it, fucks Louis on his belly until he's crying.

-*-*-

"I don't want to go back. I want to stay here. With you." Louis tells Zayn after he's been in LA for almost two months. They're in bed watching The Craft, Louis tucked under Zayn's arm where he feels safe and protected. "I really don't want to go back."

Zayn presses a kiss to the side of Louis's head and hums. "I'd love you to stay with me, babe, you have no idea how much, but you can't pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist for the rest of your lives. What about your mum? What about your sisters? The lads? One Direction?"

Louis hides his face in Zayn's neck. "I dont want to do it anymore. I can't. I need my privacy, so bad, Zayn. I'll see my family, the lads, of course I will, but I can't be _One Direction's Louis Tomlinson_ anymore. I need to be Louis, just Louis."

Zayn kisses Louis's head again, tilting his head up to kiss his lips, too. " If that's what you want to do, Lou, I'll support you. You know I will. And you can stay here with me for as long as you want."

Louis presses his mouth to Zayn's and they kiss for a long time, pressed together closely, until they're both hard and grinding against each other.

"Can I fuck you?"

Zayn smiles and nods. "Yeah, babe. Go on."

Louis gets undressed and finds the lube before climbing onto the bed to help Zayn out of his clothes, manhandling him onto his belly with a pillow under under his hips.

He lubes up his fingers and presses his middle against Zayn's hole, pushing in slowly. He follows it with a second fairly quickly, stretching Zayn, scissoring his fingers apart. He waits for a while to fit in the third, watching Zayn fall apart, crying out.

"Okay?" Louis asks, pulling his fingers out once he's sure Zayn's stretched enough, wipingthem in the bed sheets.

Zayn breaths in and moans on the out breath, grinding against the pillow. "Yeah, fuck me, babe."

So Louis does. He slicks up his cock and lifts Zayn onto his knees, carefully pushing into him.

"Louis, _fuck_." Zayn whimpers into the sheets, fingers balled around the material, hole squeezing incredibly tight around Louis's cock.

Louis fucks him slow and deep, brushing against Zayn's prostate on every thrust, pressing kisses into his back and shoulders as he cries out and arches his back at the pleasure.

"God, baby, fuck, so good. You're so good, Lou, so fucking good for me, fuck, fuck, fuck."

Zayn whimpers so loud when he comes Louis's sure the neighbours'll know what they're doing, clenching rythmically around Louis until he comes, too.

Once they're clean and back in a clean bed, they curl together with the telly on low, pressing kisses on each other's faces and bodies until they're both giggling and tickling each other.

When they settle down, Louis lays on Zayn's belly and leans up to press a soft kiss to his mouth.

"I love you, Zee."

Zayn smiles and Louis presses another kiss to his mouth. "I love you, too, sweetheart."

"I mean it, Zayn. I love you."

Zayn curls his hand around Louis's cheek and smiles at him so softly, ķit makes Louis feel warm inside. "I know, Lou. _I love you, too_."

-*-*-

When Louis gets off the phone to management, Zayn's waiting for him with a cuppa and a slice of the cake he'd gotten from Waitrose when Louis had started calling everyone. It's a mudcake and it looks fucking amazing, and the tea smells so good, the butterflies that had fluttered in his stomach seem to just dissapear.

Zayn greets him with a kiss and presses the mug into his hands, letting him drink some down before questioning him about the phone calls. "How did it go?"

Louis nods, scratching at the stubble on his chin. "Pretty well, actually. They're all standing behind me. But it looks like its all over red rover for One Direction." Louis licked his lips and took another sip of hot tea. "They want to know, that is, they wanted me to ask you, if you wanted to do it. One last time. All of us together again?"

Zayn swallows audibly and takes a deep breath. "I'll, uh, I'll think about it."

"It wont be a big crowd, a thousand contestant winners from around the world, but it'll be broadcasted on telly, or something like that."

Zayn nods. "Yeah, I'll... I'll think about it."

Louis smiles softly, nodding his head. "Okay, baby. Even if you don't want to, I think I might."

Zayn lifts a hand to Louis's cheek and leans down for a kiss. "I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you, too, Zayn."

-*-*-

_**August 3rd, 2016** _

Louis finds Zayn outside shakily smoking a cigarette and sighs in relief. "I couldn't find you. Thought maybe you'd left."

Zayn shakes his head, lifting the cigarette to his mouth. "No, just needed a break, babe. I'm here."

Louis presses a quick kiss to Zayn's mouth. He tastes like cigarettes and home, and Louis kisses him again, just to taste it again. "I love you, baby."

Zayn smiles. "Love you, too, sugar."

"After this we'll go back to LA, back to Teddy Bear and our home."

" _Our home_. It still feels weird saying it sometimes." Zayn says, a warm smile on his face.

The door to backstage opens and Alberto peaks his head out. He smiles. "You're on, boys."

He leaves again, and Zayn drops his cigarette, stomping it out. Louis holds his hand out to Zayn, and he takes it, squeezing.

Together they reenter the building, zigzagging through the hallways until they find the other lads, waiting by the trapdoor. They smile at Louis and Zayn, but they don't speak, just create a group hug with them in the middle.

"We got this." Harry says, smiling so wide, it looks like his face'll split. There's a telltale wetness to his eyes, though.

"We so got this." Niall agrees, grinning, a tear slipping down his cheek and dripping off his chin.

"Five minutes!"

"I feel like we should pray or something." Niall chuckles, shaking his head before laying it on Louis's shoulder.

"Do you want to?" Zayn asks, looking up. "You do a Catholic prayer, and I'll do a Muslim prayer?"

Niall looks like he's thinking about, before he nods, smiling wider. "Yeah, yeah, lets do it." He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. Louis follows, and he sees Zayn follow before eyes fully shut. "Dear lord, we can't even begin to thank you for this amazing journey you've given us, for the places we've seen and the people we've met, and now that this experience is coming to a close, we ask that you be with us as we take these last steps out onto a stage together, in soul and mind and in body, and we ask that you watch over us after for whatever we choose to do with the rest of our lives, together or not. Amen."

"Amen." Harry agrees with a nod.

"Amen."

"Amen."

Zayn is silent for a while, eyes still closed, but after a while he mumbles out a soft _Amen_ before he begins a Muslim prayer, hand squeezing Louis's tightly.

"One minute!"

Louis breaths in deeply and lets it out slowly, running his thumb over Zayn's hand softly.

"Thirty seconds!"

"Twenty seconds!"

"Fifteen seconds!"

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two..."

Louis stares out into the crowd as the platform raises them onto the stage, holding onto Zayn's hand tight, and not once does he let go.

At the end, when _What Makes You Beautiful_ fades, zayn wrapps his arm around Louis's hip and pulls him close, staring down at him with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face, before he presses his lips into Louis's.

The crowd roars, and Louis enjoys the moment. Enjoys it with Zayn. With his _home_.


End file.
